WWE Breaking Point 2009
By: Chris Fothergill-Brown
September 15, 2009
A very helpful opening package tells us that tonight’s pay-per-view will see every match end in a submission only. Stu Hart would be delighted.
Light the fireworks – because we are LIVE from Montreal, Quebec. MICHAEL COLE and JERRY LAWLER are so very excited to be here.
THE BIG SHOW and CHRIS JERICHO vs. MVP and MARK HENRY (for the Unified Tag-Team Titles)
Cole declares Jericho and Show the most dominant tag-team champions ever because they’ve held the belts for what, 2 consecutive months now? Henry’s a very happy man these days, smiling like he’s Brock Lesnar or something. MVP and Jericho start, but that lasts about 20 seconds before Jericho takes a powder. Once back in, MVP takes over with a little offense, but Canada’s having none of this and starts booing the holy hell out of everything Henry and MVP do. A drop toe hold is followed by a neckbreaker, giving Montreal their first patented “TWO!” Big Show gets a hero’s welcome tagging in against Henry, with a standing ovation followed by “LET’S GO BIG SHOW”. Every one of the fans in attendance is no doubt a reader of Shooting Star Press. Show goes for an avalanche splash, but Henry catches him in mid air, spins him around and gives him an avalanche of his own. Henry attempts the World’s Strongest Slam, but Jericho gives him a shot to the knees, Show falls on top, and gets 2. The fans start a “Y2J” chant now, because we’re in Canada. MVP tags in and hits a facebuster, goes Ballin’, and gets a 2. Jericho goes for the Liontamer, but MVP powers out and gives him a big boot. From behind though, Show hits a spear which I don’t think I’ve seen him do before and changes the momentum. Jericho comes in to work a chinlock while Smilin’ Mark tries to win back the fans. A quick rollup from MVP gets 2, and a clothesline gives him a shot at the tag. Jericho smartly cuts off the ring and works over MVP in the neutral corner. MVP blocks a hiptoss, reverses into a DDT, and the crowd is solidly on his side now for some reason. Henry gets the hot tag, and delivers a quick clothesline and headbutt. Jericho heads up top, but Henry catches him with a gorilla press and hits the big splash for 2. Show saves the day and sends MVP to the outside – but Henry quickly sends him packing too. Jericho tries the Codebreaker, but Henry catches him in the air and sends him flying. However, with the referee watching Chris, he misses Show throwing the Knockout Punch, and Jericho scores the pinfall at 12:18 to retain the belts. **3/4 Now I could SWEAR I just saw an opening package that told me that *every* match tonight was supposed to end in submission, so did we simply forget or are tag-team matches exempt? Are matches made by Floyd “Money” Mayweather above the law? I want answers and get none.
Instead JOSH MATTHEWS welcomes CODY RHODES and TEDDY DIBIASE. Rhodes says they’re not submission specialists, and while DX is great, Legacy is NOT the underdogs. DiBiase promises to make DX tap for the first time ever, because Chris Benoit never worked here. He compares DX to glowsticks; hot initially, but they burn out quickly and you throw them away.
THE MIZ vs. BOB CHARLEY (for the WWE United States Title)
Miz starts mouthing off in some sort of loose version of French that he’s the next US Champion, and that he’s The Miz and he’s awesome. Foreshadow that he’s spent more time with Maryse than they’ve been letting on? The fans give a nice response to Kofi, so Miz shuts them up by working a headlock. Kofi comes back with a quick rollup out of nowhere and throws an uppercut for 2. I guess THIS match isn’t under submission rules either. So much for the gimmick pay-per-view. Am I accidently watching SummerSlam? Miz tries to dump Kofi, but Kofi fakes the fall, Miz turns his back, and Kofi takes him down for a 2. Kofi goes up, but Miz cuts him off and slows him down by working the boot into Kofi’s face. Kofi gets up, but a big boot sends him back down for 2. A pancake gets 2. Kofi dumps Miz, but misses the ensuing slingslot, and Miz slams him onto the apron, and drags him headfirst to the floor. Back in, Miz gets a couple of quick 2 counts. In the corner, Miz hits a running kick, and a top rope axehandle gets 2. He misses a kneedrop in the corner, but none of the ensuing kicks, and Kofi’s in rough shape. Miz pantomimes the US Title around his waist and THAT sets off Kofi, and the pair trade kicks. Kofi wins the exchange and nails the Jamaican legsweep for 2. Miz regains control with a backbreaker followed by Slop Drop in one sweet move for a 2. Kofi blocks a running splash with a swinging dropkick, and goes for the Boom Drop – but Miz lifts the knees to block and gets 2. They start trading various rolls for a hot series of 2 counts before Kofi hits the Boom Drop for 2. Michael Cole can’t believe it didn’t work, even though I can’t recall a single instance where that HAS ended the match. Kofi off the top with a crossbody, but Miz rolls through for 2. Miz nails the snake eyes and rolls up Kofi for 2. The high knee from Kiz connects, but he can’t follow through, and Trouble In Paradise out of nowhere scores the pinfall at 11:58 and the champ retains. *** I’m pretty sure Trouble In Paradise isn’t a submission move. I’ll say that both these guys have star potential, but until I hear Kofi deliver a money promo I give the edge to Miz.
DEGENERATION X vs. LEGACY (in a Submissions Count Anywhere Match)
I’ll give even money odds that this ends in a pinfall despite LILLIAN GARCIA’s clear instruction that this MUST end in a submission. Shawn Michaels actually points to his penis, which is not particular Christian of him, but then again he IS in Montreal. Triple H sucks up to the “DX Army”, but a “You Screwed Bret” chant breaks out anyway. Hunter breaks his intro to bring up an “incident” from years ago, and says that it’s always stuck to him. He wants to make it clear, that it was all Shawn’s fault. Everyone laughs along while Michael Cole tells us this is what DX is about in a nutshell. Err, no. DX in a nutshell would have been in Vince’s ear to eliminate the two old losers hanging desperately on to their lame gimmick when they ceased being edgy about 10 years ago.
Off the get go, Cole informs us that we’re watching Vintage Shawn Michaels, while DX goes to work over Cody Rhodes’ knee. Shawn takes him to the outside, while Hunter drops Dibiase knee first on the announce table. Everyone heads into the crowd to brawl, and slowly make their way up to the Bell Centre concourse. Michaels locks Dibiase in a Dragon Sleeper in the crowd, but he escapes easily. Meanwhile, Rhodes is thrown head first into a wall which Lawler thinks is idiotic because apparently someone knocked out can’t tap out. So knockouts aren’t a way of having your body “tap out”? DX applies duelling figure fours on Legacy in the concourse in front of hundreds of fans chanting “YOU SCREWED BRET”. They get away, and Legacy actually takes over for about 18 seconds before we head back into the stands and DX gets back into control.
Michaels puts Rhodes in another Dragon Sleeper, but again he wriggles out. Back to ringside, and Triple H brings out a chair. What appears to be a version of the Pillmanizer initially turns into Rhodes being pulled halfway through the chair, put into a Boston crab from Hunter while Shawn locks on the camel clutch. Rhodes hangs on for about 30 seconds, and Dibiase saves the day. Triple H and Dibiase head into the ring where Hunter hits the spinebuster. Channelling the spirit of Chris Benoit, Triple H locks on the Crossface (or if you’re Michael Cole: “the facelock!”), but Rhodes quickly saves the day. Michaels heads in where Rhodes tries to dump him, but Michaels skins the cat and delivers a rana. He tries the same on Dibiase who blocks, and Rhodes locks on some inverted version of the Gory special. If you’ve seen Wrestlemania 21, you’d know it takes about 19 minutes before Shawn Michaels taps to anything, so Triple H has tons of time to saunter over and make the save. Back in the ring, Triple H points to his penis, which is NOT kid friendly. Meanwhile, Michaels and Rhodes head back into the stands. Rhodes dumps Michaels over the edge of the guardrail over the entrance, and Michaels takes a mean bump onto a big fluffy mattress. Hunter calls for help, but decides instead to take out his ANGER on Legacy. Rhodes escapes a Pedigree, but Dibiase takes a backdrop onto the ramp. Rhodes and Triple H go running backstage where Rhodes is tossed into some luggage, but Dibiase’s right behind and locks on a chickenwing while Rhodes smacks him around. Triple H escapes and Dibiase’s sent through a buffet table with a spinebuster. Hunter puts the Crippler Crossface back onto Cody, but Rhodes saves with a cooler full of ice to the head. Michael Cole puts on his best Owen Hart voice to tell us Hunter’s out cold, but Rhodes tells us MUCH better by waffling him with the one man conchairto. I approve.
Back inside the actual arena floor, Legacy drags Michaels back to the ring. The pair double team Shawn with a series of basic moves, until Shawn kicks Rhodes in the face and dumps Dibiase to the floor. Rhodes puts Michaels in the anklelock, where Shawn tries to break with the ropes – but it’s falls count anywhere which is another word for no disqualification, so he’ll have to get out on his own. He does, manages to backdrops Dibiase to the floor again, and hits Rhodes with Sweet Chin Music. Backstage, Triple H is waking up. Michaels puts on the figure four leglock, but even the insinuation of the Sharpshooter is enough to piss off the crowd. Dibiase saves, and we’re 2-on-1 yet again. They go for a double spike piledriver, but Shawn knocks Rhodes off the top rope and to the outside before backdropping Dibiase. He warms up the band, but Rhodes cuts him off, crotches him on the ringpost, and puts on the figure four around the post! Michaels fights it while the crowd chants for Triple H, while Dibiase puts on the Million Dollar Dream at the same time! Shawn is hanging on for dear life with Triple H on the way, but can’t hang on and taps out at 21:42. ***1/2 Well after the initial beatdown, Legacy held their own well once they broke up DX and focused on one member at a time. Maybe not the star-making match everyone was holding out for, but they’re headed in the right direction.
Meanwhile, RANDY ORTON meets with JOSH MATTHEWS. Matthews wants to know how he feels about Legacy’s win, and Orton invites him to sit. He claims to have known Legacy would win the match. Josh moves on with a question about tonight’s main event match; but Orton cuts him off and says he said he’d only ask one question. “So you’re one of those people who says one thing but does another.” The parallel is that John Cena says he’s incapable of saying the words “I Quit”, but how can anyone say they can’t say that? Orton promises that if every bone in your body is about to shatter and your skull bludgeoned and you can make it all go away by uttering one sentence, anyone can say those words.
KANE vs. THE GREAT KHALI (with Ranjin Singh) (in a Singapore Cane Match)
JIM ROSS and TODD GRISHAM make their first appearances of the night since we’ve finally got a Smackdown match. Grisham builds up Kane by talking about the fact he recently beat Jimmy Wang Yang. Oh boy. Both guys grab canes and start swordfighting. Khali wins the first exchange and knocks Kane to the floor. Kane recovers and starts beating Khali with the cane. Khali’s basically no selling everything, so Kane dropkicks him and gets 2, which last time I checked was not a submission. The fans are rightfully chanting “BORING”. Khali rips the cane away from Kane and starts swinging. The high def shows some nice welts, but not enough to make this match good. Khali hits the big chop, but it only gets 2. The Khali Vice Grip is a submission move, so I approve of this, but it’s broken up with a Singapore cane. Kane heads up, swings on the way down, but despite the cane shattering it only gets 2. Singh hits the ring and hits Kane, which distracts him long enough to allow Khali to hit another big chop. He checks on Singh, but Kane chokes him out with the cane around the rope and hits the chokeslam for the win at 7:52. DUD The Chokeslam isn’t very submissiony.
Backstage, EVE gets a moment with 3-time World Champion CM PUNK to talk about the main event. He’s keeping it brief though; nobody gives him a chance against the big spooky Undertaker, but he won at SummerSlam against Jeff Hardy and got rid of him for good. And what happened? 3 weeks after getting rid of Jeff Hardy, he’s been arrested and is all over the headlines around the world. He’ll never be like the French derelicts in attendance who pollute themselves with beer and cigarette smoke. And he’s not afraid of The Undertaker. Suddenly the lights go out, and Punk finds himself hiding behind Eve. But it’s JIMMY WANG YANG who’s the perpetrator to this prank, and after yukking it up he offers Punk good luck. Punk headbutts him and beats him down. “The Undertaker should be worried about ME.”
We’re joined by ECW announcers JOSH MATTHEWS and MATT STRYKER. And not a minute too soon!
CHRISTIAN vs. WILLIAM REGAL (with Vladmir Kozlov and Ezekial Jackson) (for the ECW Title)
Before the match starts, it’s announced that by order of Tiffany that Jackson and Kozlov are banned from ringside, and if they don’t Regal has to forfeit his match. I remain creeped out with every month that goes by with Christian as a bland babyface. Christian goes for the insta-KillSwitch for the second month in a row, but Regal blocks it this time and makes it clear how smart he is now. Christian’s given a backdrop, but it’s turned mid move into a sunset flip for 2. Regal dumps Christian to the outside, but he’s back up immediately and hits a crossbody off the top for 2. Stryker points out that Regal will become the 9th non-US born citizen to capture a World Title within the last 15 years if he wins tonight. I have to assume aside from Khali, the rest are all Canadian? Regal chokes out Christian with his own arms in an x-formation, but Christian powers out and gives Regal a monkey flip into a pin for 2. Regal hits a quick headbutt followed by the Exploder suplex for 2. Regal’s on target now though and puts on a half surfboard with Dragon sleeper, but Christian elbows out and hits a springboard sunset flip. Regal rolls right through the move, throws a knee and gets 2. A hiptoss gets 2. To the top, Christian hits a tornado DDT but only gets 2. Regal comes right back with the power of the punch, but without the brass knux he only gets 2. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Regal hits the Regalplex and gets 2. That’s nonsense. Christian of course gets a burst of energy after taking one of the most devastating suplexes in the business, and hits a missile dropkick. The second one misses, and Regal flat out swats away the third. A rolling senton from Regal gets 2, and with every kickout I’m getting more and more pissed off. The third Killswitch is shoved off by Regal, but a running knee misses and the FOURTH time it hits and the champ retains at 10:16. *** Look, I like Christian and all, but Regal was so on his game here it was frustrating to watch knowing he was having his moves kicked out of left and right like some jobber. I’m also fairly certain the Killswitch is NOT a submission.
Tomorrow night on RAW: DAVE and Trish Stratus make their returns.
Back live, PAT PATTERSON is welcomed to his hometown. He cuts a promo in French telling the fans that Montreal is always his hometown no matter where he travels. He recalls starting in 1958 in Montreal, and would go on to be the first ever Intercontinental Champion. “Not bad eh?” DOLPH ZIGGLER interrupts and wants a handshake. Patterson says it’s not necessary, he knows who he is. He says he walked around Montreal last night and talked to a lot of people. “You’ll never guess who asked about you? ... NOBODY!” Patterson plays it as a joke, and tells Dolph that one day he may be the Intercontinental Champion. Dolph asks for the stick. “First Bob Barker and now Pat Patterson? When did this company get taken over by senior citizens? If you’re here, who’s at home watching reruns of the Golden Girls? Was Wilfred Brimley unable to make it tonight? Does the retirement home know you snuck out? Pat, I’m just having some fun. Until you came out to the ring tonight, I thought you were dead.” His issue is the wasted pay-per-view time on an old man that nobody remembers, which causes a “SHUT THE FUCK UP” chant. Dolph keeps on with the old man jokes, and the crowd starts up the “WHAT?” chants to keep themselves entertained. But Dolph’s getting aggressive and starts shoving Patterson with every sentence. And after calling him a coward, he strikes Patterson and leaves him lying. JOHN MORRISON makes the save, probably building to Hell In A Cell next month.
RANDY ORTON vs. JOHN CENA (in an I Quit Match for the WWE Title)
After getting the single loudest live reception I’ve ever heard in Ottawa the night before, Montreal of course viciously boos Cena during his entrance. God bless the French. The pair brawl right away, with Cena hitting a belly to belly followed by a fisherman’s suplex. Cena misses a shoulderblock and eats canvas, allowing Orton time to recover and send him crashing into the announce table. Orton grabs a monitor and smashes Cena in the skull. He drags Cena back into the ring where Orton delivers a DDT with Cena’s legs still caught in the middle ropes. The fans break into duelling “LET’S GO CENA” “LET’S GO ORTON” chants, as Cena comes flying back with a shoulderblock, doctor bomb, and 5 Knuckle Shuffle. The FU is blocked by the ropes, and Orton delivers a stunner assisted by the top rope. Orton goes for The Punt, but Cena moves and tries the STFU to no avail. Outside, Cena’s sent crashing into the steps. Orton sees his opportunity and blasts Cena in the head with the loose steps. With Cena face first on the bottom steps, Orton stomps on him, but Cena refuses to quit when asked. So Orton grabs a pair of handcuffs he’s hidden under the ring, and cuffs Cena to the ropes. Orton taunts him with the key around his neck, and hammers away with rights. Cena goes down, putting him in position to eat Orton’s knee. The referee asks him again, and Cena defiantly screams “NOOOO!” Orton starts walloping Cena with the microphone, unlocks the cuffs from the ropes, and cuffs Cena’s hands together from the front. Using the cuffs, Cena’s hung in a crucifix position off the ringpost, towards the outside, and he’s a human piñata for Orton. Orton won’t let Cena pass out and throws cold water in his face, but when the referee asks him if he quits, he spits the water back in Orton’s face. Under the ring, Orton finds leftover Singapore canes from earlier, and gives Cena about 8 or 9 unprotected shots directly to the stomach. Yeesh. Cena still refuses to quit, and when Orton goes to choke him out, Cena punts him in the plums. Through the miracle of high def, we can see that Cena’s chest is cut right up from the Singapore cane shots. Cena manages to get back onto his feet, but Orton recovers enough to waffle Cena with a chair. Orton uncuffs Cena for the second time, and is really asking for trouble. He successfully transfers Cena back to the ropes, this time on the outside, where he’s got free shots again, but Cena continues to refuse to give up. Orton grabs the chair again, but Cena dodges the shot forcing Orton to hit post. Cena backdrops Orton, steals the key, and escapes the ropes. Cena then handcuffs himself to Orton, and the champ has nowhere to go. Cena goes nuts and starts kicking his ass all over the floor. Back in, Orton’s given a backdrop suplex and knees him in the back repeatedly. Still handcuffed together, Cena tries an FU, but it’s reversed into an RKO. Orton wants to escape, but the key is across the ring and he can’t get there. While he’s pulling, Cena sees his opportunity to lock the STFU in place, with the handcuffs serving as a choker, and Orton gives up immediately at 19:48, making John Cena a 6-time World Champion. ***1/4 Well this show’s been nothing if consistent, with a number of matches falling within the same range of quality. At least this one ended in a submission.
CM PUNK vs. THE UNDERTAKER (in a Submissions Match for the World Heavyweight Title)
Grisham reminds us that nobody’s made the Undertaker tap during the last twenty years, and I’m hard pressed to disagree with their usual revisionist history. My head says this can’t possibly end well for Punk, but we’ll see. The bell rings and Punk bails to the floor, immediately making about 17,000 French Canadians irate. Excellent crowd heat for our chickenshit champion. Back in, Punk escapes the Undertaker’s clutches and throws a series of punches, but Taker goozles him and tosses him over the top rope. Punk rushes back in, but winds up taking a clothesline and gets beaten down in the corner. Dumped to the outside again, Taker follows this time and knocks him out with a big right. From here it’s just child’s play, with Taker throwing Punk around like a ragdoll from pillar to post. The big boot misses though, and Taker crotches himself over the wall, and Punk throws a running knee to knock the dead man down. Back in, Punk hits the running knee, but Taker jerks around the shoulder trying to dislocate it. Heading up we go Old School, but Punk cuts him off and hammers away. Superplex connects, but Punk’s down and can’t follow up quickly enough and lets Taker regain control. Snake eyes connects, followed by a quick big boot and legdrop , setting up the impending Chokeslam. Punk has only one move left and kicks Taker in the head, but Undertaker puts on the Hell’s Gate and we have a new champion at 7:51. But wait! TEDDY LONG comes out and regrets to inform us that the Hell’s Gate was banned by Vickie Guerrero, and that the ban was never lifted. Therefore the match continues. Punk hits the ring, but walks right into a big boot. Last Ride is set up, but Punk slithers off the back, puts on Anaconda Vice and the bell rings IMMEDIATELY 10:56, and ladies and gentlemen we have a Montreal screwjob. ** Everyone looks on, and Taker isn’t remotely happy. JR tells us this isn’t passing the old smell test, the fans are royally pissed, Bret’s smashing monitors, and we’re out.